From Bad to Weird (by Mindy)

Last time on "The Logan's Summer Vacation":

We were lost on the sheer side of the mountain--"Ahhhhhh"
"Brandon? BRANDON!!! Dear God save my husband! I'm too young to be a widow and we have a baby on the way! HELP! Please Help! Fine, I'll save him myself!" I clambered down and finally caught his shirt collar and heaved him to safety. We embraced.
"OH, I thought I'd lost you for ever. Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Hon, do you think you might've gotten off the trail?" He heads back up to retrace the trail and soon returns. Slipping and falling again.
"Brandon! Bran...hahahahahahah....AHHH!" I got so tickled I slipped. We made our way down and out through the skin tearing brambles.
"Oh, Honey your bleeding!" We finally make it back to the car to find it stuck.
"I was afraid that was going to happen. I think I can rock the damn thing out, though." Then some man appears by Brandon's window.
"Hang on there mate and I'll pull you out!" CRASH, SCRAPE, BANG!!!!
"Oops, I was looking out the other side. Didn't see that car. I'll just untie you and we can get the hell out of here before anyone notices."
"No," Says Brandon his arm around my shoulder, "My wife and I were raised in the land of Honest Abe and George Washington and the Cherry tree. We can tell no lies!" So with an apologetic note, we left the carnage behind and headed out to a better afternoon.
(The above, though based on true facts, was dramatized...just a little)

We headed to Abel Tasman--the land of gold beaches and crystal clear blue water. It was absolutely breathtaking. We went to the trail the lady at the I-station had suggested. Why we were still following her suggestions, I'm not sure. We hiked down a short trail and came out to the beach. The trail was supposed to go by the beach and then back up the mountain to a lookout point. We decided the trail went left and crossed through a rock outcropping. I was looking out at the incredibly clear, blue water speckled with dark boulders trying to decide if I should go jump in right then or wait until we made our way back when I heard, "Um, Hon, do you think we're on the right trail?" Well, my mind went back a few hours to the last time he suggested my trail following ability might be less than par and was about to turn around and give some smart answer when something large and white caught my eye. I look again and see a very portly woman lying in the sand. My first thought was, "My Gosh, is she wearing a speedo? Why on earth would she go out in a speedo?" And then I began looking for traces of it sticking out somewhere when I realize she is topless. Just like I can never look away from a car wreck, my eyes drifted south to confirm she was indeed nude. I am about to turn to get Brandon's attention about this when I realize a few yards from her is a naked person lying on her stomach--Nope, she rolled over and it was all man just lying there in front of God and everyone. My mind is now racing and I can't get anything out of my mouth as my eyes run up and down the beach over one naked person after another. Brandon grabs my hand and whisper, "shhhh, just keep walking." Well, I finally focus on Brandon and he is about blue from trying not to laugh at me. Just then 3 girls bounced by to the water and man soon bobbled along behind. We finally made it through the Nudey part and got to some people wearing clothes. I was sure glad we hadn't stopped at the beach we passed earlier called TaTa beach! We did make it to the point, but I have no idea what we saw I was still in shock. We made it back to the car and had a good laugh about our crazy day. I pulled out a water bottle and was getting a drink when the popcap suddenly closed on my lip! I had to get it back open, but a huge chunk of my lip was missing. It bled so much that I had to get a tissue and hold on it. So with a fat lip, a wrecked van, and a more pictures in our mind than we knew what to do with we called it a night. The day did end nicely. We walked into town and got a couple of Kababs and picnicked in a beautiful rose garden.

Yesterday we signed up for a guided kayak tour. It was nice, but we decided kayaking really wasn't for us. Brandon thought there was too much sun involved and I just got plain bored after about 10 minutes. I guess I need rapids :) Today we are heading to Franz Josef, which is a glacier. I am really excited about taking a tour that hikes all through it. We are going to have to go visit with the guides and make sure it safe for a pregnant lady to do the one I want to do. Don't worry it has no zip-lining, bungying, or anything crazy like that. We just aren't sure what is involved in glacier hiking!